This is Our Life
by Cael Luciano
Summary: Formally 'Shizaya Drabbles'. A series of Drabbles centered on Shizuo and Izaya. Established relationship. M for language and mild sexual content. Better than the summary. Chapter nine: Izaya wakes up, feeling horrible. Will Shizuo be there to comfort him, or will they just argue about his death...? Fluffy and weird.
1. Theories

**Theories**

**Disclaimer: I own my brain and the ideas that come from it, nothing else.**

"DAMN IT! IZAAAAAYAAAA!"

"Huh?" The informant paused from running, giving the blonde an innocent, confused look. He widened his eyes and pointed to himself. "Shizu-chan couldn't be talking about me, could he?"

"Fucking flea!" Snarling, Shizuo took the chance to swing the stop sign he had yanked from the ground at Izaya's head. Izaya laughed as he dodged effortlessly. "Ah, he is, he is~! Of course, Shizu-chan is too much of a protozoan to realize that I am much more akin to a god than a flea~"

"Shut up and let me squash you, flea!"

"Silly Shizu-chan~"

"Bastard!"

"Protozoan~"

"Asshole!"

"Instinct-driven, mindless, monstrous beast~!"

"FLEA!"

*click**click* *click*

"… Erika, why are you taking pictures of them? This happens all the time, you know…"

"Hehe! Isn't it obvious, Dotachin? I'm going to document their love~!"

"…"

Grinning madly, Erika put down her camera as Shizuo chased Izaya down another street and out of her line of view. "Ah~ love-hate relationships are so~ sexy~!"

"I'd say it's more like a hate-hate relationship," her fellow otaku, Walker said reasonably.

"HA! Walker, don't you know? In manga mutual hate means love!"

"Uh… well sometimes but-"

Still grinning, Erika waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "And it makes the romance so much spicier! Just imagine it! At the end of a long day of being Izaya, he starts feeling lonely~, so he comes to see his _favorite _monster," Erika smirked, stressing favorite as if Izaya had a collection of monsters he could be playing with, "And then of course, Shizu-chan, who has also had a long, stress-filled day, sees Iza-Iza, and gets a huge rush of emotion~! All that bottled up angry gets mixed up with his fiery lust, and he just explodes at Iza-Iza~! And then, when he finally _does_ catch him, he drags him back to his apartment for some sweet, passionate se-"

"ERIKA!" The other three in the van shouted.

"What?" Erika pouted, annoyed. She'd just been getting to the good part.

"Please, just please, _stop. _If you want to fantasize, do it at _home!_"

"But Dotachin, these aren't fantasies! They're theories! And soon, when I get my evidence, they'll be cold, hard facts!"

"If you don't shut up about those two, I'll throw you into a cold, hard institutional ward!"

"Aw, you're no fun, Dotachin!"

"And stop calling me that!"

XXX

In his apartment in Ikebukuro, Shizuo yawned and slowly woke. He always got kinda groggy in the post-coital haze. He reached across his bed, searching…

He frowned. Where was…

Blinking, he sat up and spotted a figure standing before the window in his bedroom.

"Hey," he drawled, grinning lazily. "Come back to bed."

Slowly the figure turned and Shizuo paled. "Hey, what's wrong…?

Shaking slightly, the figure crawled back into the bed and into Shizuo's arms.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're trembling…" Shizuo murmured, running his hands through short raven hair and along pale skin soothingly.

"… she knows…"

"What? Who knows what?"

Izaya looked up into his secret lover's eyes, his face filled with horror. "Erika. She know _everything_…!"

**MWAHAHA! Izaya torture! **

**Anyway, I realized that as much as I love Shizaya, I never actually written anything where they have an established relationship, so here I go! **

**Izaya: Oh dear…**

**Me: XD This story, as you might be able to tell from the title, will just be a series of drabbles about Shizuo and Izaya… And it's rated M for language… For now~ ;D**

**Izaya: *facepalm***

**Shizuo: Wait, does that mean I might get sex?**

**Me: Maybe if I get reviews~**

**( On a serious note, to all my Apostasy fans, I just don't really have the inspiration right now… The thing is, I have a lot I COULD be writing from Izaya's POV, but I just started writing from Shizuo's POV again… Do you guys want Izaya POV? :I )**


	2. Blogging

**Blogging**

**Warning: Izaya trolling readers, twins trolling Izaya~**

Hello there, my dear readers. I'm sure you're wondering, why is your God, Izaya Orihara, taking time from his busy, busy schedule to address his lovely humans~?

Truthfully, it's something I always think of. A little fantasy, perhaps? After all, I know all there is to know about you! (That is, if you're interesting enough~) So it is only fair I share a bit of myself with the world, ne~?

I'm sure by now I've captured your full attention, dear reader~. "Whaaaat~? The great Izaya Orihara wishes to grace _me _with such valuable information? Little insignificant me?"

If this was your reaction I'm afraid you're just much too predictable. *sigh* Don't fret, Izaya Orihara will always love _all _his humans. Even the overly insecure and slightly dense ones.

Unfortunately, today I am speaking neither of the fragility of the human ego nor my own life story (though both are subjects of great intrigue~) Sorry to any hopes I've crushed~! Really though, did you really think you'd learn anything about me so easily~? No, for both the sake of my humans and myself, such details shall remain strictly confidential.

No, today I would like to address some of the… unsightly rumors floating about the internet. Specifically rumors pertaining to myself, and a one Shizuo Hewaijima.

Now, of course the old saying is true, and that there are two sides of every story. Well, to some stories there are thousands of different sides, but to keep things simple I'll stick to two.

Firstly there is your side. I assume you have a 'side', yes? Since you have stumbled upon my blog, then surely you are experienced in the ways of this lovely national information infrastructure, ne~? You _have _heard the rumors, right?

No~?

Well, go on then. I'll wait here.

Ah, you're back. Well, what of the rumors now?

WHAT? You _still _couldn't find anything about me and that monster? Surely you're joking!

No joke? *sigh* Honestly, you're not even trying are you? Very well~, I shall assist you.

[Link]

[Link]

[Link]

There. Now that you are thoroughly informed, you see the 'side' I was talking about.

I know what you're probably thinking. I've been presented a great many little 'theories' about our… relationship.

Secret lovers?

Sex friends?

Sex enemies?

Two very confused, very dangerous men who can't tell love from hate?

I've decided to lay it all out in the open. The truth about Shizu-chan and I is

"IZA-NII!"

ashgdjhglksargf

" What?"

"Iza-nii, don't yell at your only siblings! We almost never come over, so the least you could do is get off your computer and play with us!"

"Iza-nii… hang…" (Mairu's right, Iza-nii. We never get to hang out.)

"It's not like you're constantly clambering for my attention. You just came over here to annoy me," Izaya grumbled. "Give your brother just a minute and then we'll play, okay?" He turned back to his computer.

The truth is

"Iza-nii."

Growling exasperatedly, Izaya spun in his chair to the little devils. "WHAT-!"

He stared straight into two identical pairs of big, shiny, begging puppy-dog eyes and pouting lips. Sighing heavily, he raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, I surrender! Let me go get my coat and I'll take you out for ice cream or something."

"YAY!"

The informant trudged up his stairs from his office to his bedroom, with two identical girls watching him closely. When they heard the door to his room open and close, they immediately scrambled to his computer.

"Hehe, now let's see what big brother is up to now!"

"…Evil…" (That's absolutely evil Mairu. I love it.)

"I know, right? And we only had to annoy him a little!"

"Hurry…"

"Yeah, I know…" Mairu muttered, scanning the screen quickly. "Ooooh, this is good!"

Quickly typing, Mairu grinned diabolically. "The truth is-!"

The truth is that I, Izaya Orihara, am absolutely, 100%, head over heels in love with Shizuo Hewaijima!

"Perfect!"

"…perfect…"

"And now to post this-"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO BRATS DOING?"

"Aw crap! Ruuuun!"

"Running…" (I'm running, you don't have to tell me.)

**Hehe, even MORE Izaya torture. Ah, I love twins. They're always so devious~**

**Izaya: Is that the whole point of these drabbles? To torture me?**

**Me: … IT JUST SORT OF HAPPENED THAT WAY! I DON'T MEAN IT! I RABU YOU!**

**Shizuo: Wait, does this mean he **_**doesn't **_**love me?**

**Me: Who said the twins were lying~? ;)**

**Izaya: If you want her to stop torturing me, REVIEW!**

**Me: OR, if you like me to keep torturing him, REVIEW~**

**Shizuo: Uh… review if you like sweets?**


	3. Terror Tactics

**Terror Tactics**

_**Italics **_**in this chapter are Kadota's memories. Warning, sexual content!**

It was a pretty normal day in Ikebukuro. There had just been several new manga releases so while Erika and Walker fan-girled/boyed like crazy, Saburo and Kadota waited in the van.

Like normal.

Except everything wasn't completely the same.

"Hey Kadota..?" Saburo started.

"Huh? Oh, um what?"

Yes, something was definitely off.

"Hey, are you okay man? You've been real jumpy lately…"

"Oh um… it's nothing really. Sorry."

Saburo looked skeptical, but didn't argue. "If you say so. I'm gonna go get a drink then… you want one?"

"… I'm okay, thanks."

Saburo got out of the van and headed for the nearest vending machine, shaking his head. "Kadota needs to get it together… We already have two crazy people in this group, we don't need another…"

Sighing and sliding back against his seat, Kadota put his head in his hands. He had been pretty freaked out recently, but that was only because he was so terrified of seeing-

"Hello Dotachin."

"I-Izaya!"

Leaning against the van door, the raven smiled. "Mind if we go for a walk? You and I need to have a little… chat."

Kadota flinched before smiling back somewhat shakily. "Uh, actually, I'm waiting for my friends so-"

"Dotachin." The raven's smile never faltered, but his tone had frozen like ice.

"Uh, what?"

"_Now_."

"…. Okay." Stepping out of the van, Kadota tried not to tremble, or at least not obviously.

Of course, as hard as he tried, Izaya wasn't an infamous informant for nothing! He laughed.

"Relax Dotachin! I just wanna ask you a few questions…"

"Right…" They started walking in silence, Izaya waiting for Kadota to feel more comfortable. Then he'd be more likely to answer his questions truthfully.

After a minute or so Kadota cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable with the silence. "So, what did you want to ask me?"

Izaya grinned over at him. "Come now Dotachin~ you're a smart guy. You know what this is about."

Kadota gulped. "Well, uh, n-not really-"

"Don't lie to me Dotachin," Izaya growled, glaring now. "You remember that day, all those years ago!"

"_Ah, oh Shizu-chan, harder!"_

Blushing furiously, Kadota turned his face away from the informant. "Um, I don't-"

"Dotachin!" Izaya practically hissed. "The day at Raijin when you walked in on me and Shizu-"

"Alright, alright! I remember!" Kadota shouted, desperate for Izaya to stop talking, desperate for the images in his head to go away.

"_Ah! Oh fuck, Shizuo! I-I'm gonna-!"_

"_Ah, Izaya, me too!"_

"_Ah, ah! … huh? D-Dotachin? What are you doing here?"_

"_What the hell Kadota? What the hell!"_

"_Dotachin-!"_

"Dotachin!"

"Huh?" Startled from his nightmarish memories, he turned his focus back to a seething Izaya.

"I do _not_ like being ignored, Dotachin!"

Kadota flinched. "Look, I swear, I _never_ told _anyone_-"

"Then why does _she _know?"

Kadota blanched. "How do you even know about that?"

"So you did tell her!"

"No! She, she just has fantasies! All the time, about lots of different people! You just happen to be one of them!"

"Why am I paired with Shizuo? Why does she know the details of our relationship? Why does she know?"

"I don't know! I _swear_! I told her nothing! Just please, don't hurt me or try to ruin my life, or anything, please." Kadota paused before adding, almost as an afterthought, "Or Erika's."

Izaya eyed him intensely for a moment before laughing. "Oh Dotachin, you should see your face right now! Hilarious! You look so scared!" Izaya face turned somber abruptly. "You _should _be scared."

Kadota stood tensed for a moment before sighing. "Well, I'm terrified."

"Good. But really Dotachin, you don't have to worry. I've kept tabs on you for years, ever since that day! I know you didn't say anything," Izaya explained, grinning wickedly.

Kadota flinched before snapping "Then why did you interrogate me?"

"Just want you to know I'm still watching you," Izaya shrugged and started to walk off. "Oh, and because it was funny."

Kadota gaped after Izaya. "You little bastard-!"

He broke off as Izaya turned back, smiling happily. "You know, I could have just sicced Shizu-chan on you. You really_ should_ show some gratitude for that," Izaya jeered, laughing as Kadota's face paled.

Score for Orihara, bitches.

**You guess have **_**no **_**idea how hard it was to put 'vending machine' in this chapter and leave out Shizuo…. Oh and 'sicced' is totally a word… I think….**

**Izaya: So this is the end of the torture, right? Everyone's scared of me now, right? *hopeful look***

**Me: Heck no!**

**Izaya: Hope. Crushed.**

**Shizuo: *reading the sex part* So… I'm on top right?**

**Me: Shizuo, the title of the story is Shizaya Drabbles! What do you think!**

**Shizuo: *shrug* Just making sure.**

**Me: Aw, you want to protect your butt virginity~! That's adorable~! I love you Shizuo~ So that's why you'll appear in the next chapter! *cheers***

**Shizuo: Did she just say butt virginity?**

**Izaya: I think she did….**


	4. Explanations

**Explanations **

**Sorry for the little wait guys, this one turned out pretty long for a drabble and I had trouble writing the ending... **

**Anyway, more sexual themes in this chapter and Kasuka being a troll-**

**Izaya: Or as much of a troll as possible for Kasuka.**

**Shizuo: Just read the story!**

Shizuo looked about his room from his high school days, and some part of his mind knew he was dreaming. Everything in his room looked just as he remembered it. There was some clutter but not nearly as much as the some people might suspect of Ikebukuro's monster. His bed was made from that morning and his book bag was carelessly dropped at the foot of it. Late afternoon sunlight streamed through the west-facing windows, warming everything it touched.

Shizuo sat on the edge of his bed, running his hands over the thin threadbare covers he'd used in the warmer seasons of his adolescent years, marveling at the vividness of his dream. He could practically smell his mother cooking dinner downstairs and hear the scritch-scratch of a pen on paper as his brother dutifully worked on schoolwork in the room next to his.

He had many memories like this one, where he simply sat there… waiting.

And there it was, a soft but insistent knocking at his window. Standing, he made his way over the window and slid it open with practiced ease, and looked down into mischievous mahogany eyes.

"What took you so long, Shizu-chan~?"

Shizuo merely snorted, stepping aside to allow Izaya in. His face was void of any malice, as he'd learned long ago nothing he could do would keep the other teen from teasing him. It had stopped bothering him ages ago. The shows of violence and anger were just that, shows. No one could see them here.

Izaya observed his surroundings with interest, as he always did, though he had been in this room almost as often as his own. The bright lighting in the room seemed to turn the hints of red in his eyes to rubies, the blonde thought in quiet awe. "Tsk, tsk, Shizu-chan," he giggled, kicking at a balled up shirt on the floor that had missed his laundry basket. "No girl will like you if you keep being such a slob."

The taller teen shrugged, his hands in his pockets. "I wasn't expecting to have any girls in here."

Izaya flopped face first into the bed, burying his head in the covers and inhaling. "Good." He sighed contentedly as Shizuo resumed his seat on the bed beside him. "I really like it in here. It's so warm, and quiet. Nothing like my room. You are _so _lucky you don't have any younger siblings," Izaya sighed again, turning his head to smile at Shizuo.

Shizuo frowned. "What are you talking about? You know Kasuka…"

Izaya's smile grew teasing as he crawled over to kiss the other's cheek. "Try having twin sisters for a day Shizu-chan, and you'll never call that talking brick wall a 'sibling' again."

Shizuo growled, grabbing Izaya by the shoulders and pulling him into his lap. "Don't make fun of Kasuka."

Izaya grinned impishly. "Or what~? Will Shizu-chan punish me~?"

Smirking, the blonde leaned down to capture Izaya's lips. Though it was chaste, Izaya moaned and wriggled beneath him. Nipping at his bottom lip, Shizuo pulled away to whisper in the raven's ear, "I will if you keep being such a tease~"

"Mmmm, such a naughty monster~" Izaya purred back, sitting up in Shizuo's lap and reaching up for another kiss. Shizuo chuckled against his lips before they deepened the kiss.

*knock knock*

Izaya huffed, breaking away for air. "Shit."

"Shhh!" Shizuo admonished. "My family can't know you're here!"

*knock*

"I know that!" Izaya hissed back.

"…Niisan? It's time for dinner…."

Izaya snickered, pushing Shizuo flat on the bed and whispering, "I think I want dessert before dinner today…"

"Niisan?"

"Just a minute Kasuka!"

"…okay." Kasuka frowned lightly on the other side of the door. His brother was usually pretty hungry after a long day of school and chasing around Orihara-kun. He was about to head downstairs when he heard a soft moan. Raising an eyebrow, he tried again. "Niisan? Are you alright?"

There was something that sounded like a muffled growl before his brother called, "I'm fine!" and then muttered, "Shut up! He might hear you!"

"…why was the creeper still at the door to begin with?"

Kasuka shook his head. No, it couldn't be… Orihara-kun?

Just then there was a little squeak on the other side of the door. 'My brother would definitely never make a sound like that,' he thought to himself dryly. Oh well.

"Um, Niisan…."

"…That's it, I'm out of here!"

"No wait, Izaya!"

*thud*

"Ow!"

"Heh."

The young actor to be wasn't really sure what was going on in that room, and he didn't think he wanted to know. Then the door slammed open, and Shizuo was there, panting, his clothing and hair disheveled.

"Kasuka?"

"Yes?"

"The next time I want some private time, _please_ don't interrupt me."

"Hmm," Kasuka nodded, looking bored. Then, he couldn't resist adding, "Did you and Orihara-kun have fun?"

"K-KASUKA!"

"Shizuo, _wake up!"_

"Huh?"

"Shizuo!"

The blonde, now adult, rolled over in bed, nearly squishing Izaya as he did so. "Ugh… what time is it…?" he groaned.

Izaya, rubbed at his eyes, clearly just as tired. "Um," he grabbed his phone from where it rested on the table next to Shizuo's bed. "A little past three."

The blonde groaned again. "Why did you wake me up?"

Izaya scoffed. "Why did _I_ wake _you_ up? You woke me up first!" he grumbled, snuggling back into the sheets, trying to get back to sleep. "All your thrashing and moaning is kinda hard to sleep through, you know… and then you start yelling… 'Kasuka, Kasuka'…." Then as his own words sunk in, the raven shot up in bed, eyes popping wide. "Shizuo! That's disgusting!"

Shizuo frowned, squinting at him in the darkness. "What?"

"Having a wet dream… about your _brother_!" Izaya made a gagging noise. "Oh, I think I may be sick."

"What? … Oh. _Oh. _You thought… because…. No, I was just-"

"No, no! I don't want to hear it!" Izaya said, jumping out of bed and heading to get his clothes.

"Aw, come on Izaya, get back in bed, it's too early for this shit!"

"Too early for me to be disgusted at incest?" Izaya's incredulous voice asked.

"…Yes."

"Shizuo!"

"What!" Shizuo exclaimed, exasperated. "It's too damn early for me to think!"

"That's no excuse for moaning over your brother!"

"I wasn't! Now get back in bed!"

"No!" Izaya snapped, suddenly feeling defiant. He strode over to the window and threw it open. Almost immediately the clothes he'd thrown on were soaked, as it was pouring outside. Regardless, Izaya leaned out the window and shouted at the top of his lungs, "SHIZUO HEWAIJIMA IS A PERVERT!"

Izaya pulled his head back into the room to clear his mouth of water and suck in another huge breath before leaning out again. "FOR HIS BROTHER!"

"IZAYA!" Shizuo snapped, yanking Izaya back in and shutting the window. Luckily it was three in the morning and the weather was horrible, so no one _probably _heard that…

"Geez, you freaking drama queen…" Shizuo muttered, his hands slipping under Izaya's now wet shirt.

"Oh! Now that you're done dreaming about Kasuka you want to fulfill your pervy fantasy with me? Shall I call you 'Niisan'?' Izaya snarled, bitingly sarcastic.

"No, dumbass! I'm taking your soaking wet clothes off so you don't get sick, and I wasn't dreaming about my brother!"

Izaya grumbled something that sounded like 'guilty until proven innocent' under his breath. Shizuo just sighed as he finished stripping Izaya and shoved him into bed. He left the room to grab a towel from the bathroom and came back, throwing it to the fuming raven. "Here, dry your damn hair."

Izaya merely turned his glare from Shizuo to the towel, as if _it _was the reason he had gotten wet.

Half sighing, half growling Shizuo crawled into bed beside him and began roughly drying his hair and body, but to the informant's indignity.

"Shizu-chan! I can dry myself!"

"Well why didn't you!"

"I was busy accepting the fact that my lover is more interested in his brother than me!"

"Oh come on! I was dreaming about us!"

"Didn't sound like it!"

"Do I really have to explain my _dreams_ to you?"

"Yes, you do!"

"Fine!" Shizuo tossed the towel away before grabbing Izaya by the wrists and pinning him to the bed. He leaned over him, trying to ignore that they were both naked. **

"In my dream, we were in bed."

"Oh, you and Kasuka?"

"Us, dammit, US!"

Izaya blinked, not really appreciating having this brute yelling in his face, but if he had an explanation…. "Okay, go on."

"Thank you," the blonde growled. "I dreamed about times back in high school, when you used to sneak into my room after school." Izaya flushed, remembering what they used to do in Shizuo's old bedroom. Shizuo tried not to notice.

"And then, you started being the annoying, sexy tease you are, and we started… doing stuff."

Izaya interrupted. "But that doesn't explain-"

Shizuo tightened his grip on Izaya's wrists, causing him to break off with a hiss of pain. "I'm getting to that, you damn flea. Don't interrupt."

"Anyway, so then, right when we were about to- well, you know!" Shizuo exclaimed, blushing slightly.

Izaya snickered quietly. Angry or not, he couldn't help but find that Shizuo had difficulty talking about sex adorable.

"So then, Kasuka knocked at the door, saying it was dinner time… I told him to go away, but he persisted, so you got annoyed and left! And when I told him not to bother me when I'm in my room, he said something like 'So did you and Orihara-kun have fun?' and I got embarrassed and yelled at him…. And that's what you heard."

Izaya frowned. Shizuo's explanation was sound… but he absolutely hated admitting he was wrong… He'd have to play this carefully to show that he was both knowledgeable of all situations and forgiving to Shizuo.

"Alright then…" Izaya said slowly. "Then prove it to me~"

"What?" Shizuo yelled. Did that bastard _still _not believe him?

"I want you to prove it Shizu-chan~" Izaya purred, looking up at Shizuo through dark lashes. Shizuo gulped.

"Uh, okay. How?"

Izaya leaned up and Shizuo released his wrists and scooted away a little as he got too close. Izaya persisted, pressing bodily against the blonde and wrapped his arms around his neck. Speaking into his ear in his most sultry voice, Izaya whispered, "I want you to scream _my _name… and I won't let you stop until you've thoroughly convinced me it's the only name you'll ever speak again."

Shizuo shivered, his body already responding to that sexy voice. As his hands began roaming creamy pale skin he muttered back, "I can't _never _not say another person's name, you know. At some point in time, I'd have to address _someone_ using their name…"

The raven grinned as he echoed the blonde's earlier statement. "It's too damn early for me to think…"

****Er, yeah, Shizuo and Izaya were in bed naked before they woke up and Shizuo never got dressed, in case someone was confused.**

**Hehe, yay for cute embarrassed Shizuo! And I added Kasuka too, cuz ****Marshmallows Rule The World**** asked for him, though he didn't get to interact with Izaya in this drabble *sweatdrop* **

**Yes that's right, I take suggestions/requests! So feel free to leave some :D**

**Izaya: And the only way you can do that is by reviewing! **

**Shizuo: … You skipped the sex parts. *frown***

**Me: …. I've never written-**

**Shizuo: You. Skipped. The. Sex. Parts.**

**Izaya: *nods* Yes. Bad author-san!**

**Me: T-T …You're so mean! I won't ever write again!**

**Izaya: She meant to say, I won't ever write again, IF ****you don't review~**


	5. New Fears

**New Fears**

**Look who's back from church camp! :D**

**So I keep saying to myself, the next update will be Apostasy, the next update will be Apostasy, and then it just, isn't. *headdesk * So yeah… I just feel like Apostasy has been getting worse and worse as time goes on… And this story is so much more fun to write!**

**Izaya: On with this odd little drabble.**

"IZAAAYAAAA!"

Said raven smirked from where he sat at his desk. "Hmm, wonder who that could be," he murmured to himself as he continued working.

"Izaya!" Shizuo yelled again, storming up to his desk and waving a black leather-bound journal in his hand. "What the hell is this?"

Izaya glanced up briefly, but it was long enough for Shizuo to see the flash of recognition in those russet eyes. Turning back to his work and grinning, he said, "That, my dear Shizu-chan, is a book. They're quite common. If you come back when I'm not busy maybe I'll teach you how to read one."

The blonde growled. "I know it's a book! I mean, why the hell do you have this?"

Izaya placed a finger against his lips as he face turned thoughtful. "Well Shizu-chan, most people have books for entertainment or educational purposes-"

"Izaya." Shizuo's tone told him he was not in the mood for teasing.

Izaya chuckled before continuing. "But in this case, it's for entertainment. Mostly mine, but you could join in too," he murmured, he voice turning husky at the end.

The blonde immediately felt his face grow hot. Judging by the raven's corresponding smirk, he guessed he was turning pretty red. He shook his head to rid himself of dirty images. It was all Izaya's fault!

"You're sick!"

"Am I~? Why exactly do you think that, Shizu-chan~?" Izaya purred, ignoring his work in favor of teasing his monster. He rested his elbows on his desk and held his chin in his hands as he smiled up at the blonde.

Shizuo slammed the journal on the desk. "Are you going to do the shit you wrote in here?"

Izaya smiled fondly at the journal and began to flip through it, skimming the contents. "Most of it is silly and probably will never happen, but I would like to act out a few-"

"So-! So you were just going to cheat on me!"

Izaya chuckled as he ran his fingers along the pages. "I was going to run it by you first."

Shizuo sputtered, still angry but now also very confused. "You were going to ask my permission to cheat on me?"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Do you think I would ever ask for your permission for anything?" he asked and continued without waiting for an answer. "Shizuo, don't act like there was some big plot for your downfall going on! I wasn't even hiding this."

Shizuo growled. He didn't want Izaya to be this calm and calculating, he wanted him to get angry and fight with him and let him blow off some steam so he could storm off dramatically and have the flea crawling to apartment a few days later begging for forgiveness!

Like that was ever going to happen.

Izaya's phone buzzed and Shizuo wanted to scream at the poor little device that had all its owner's attention at the littlest noise. Izaya smirked as he read his message.

"Well Shizu-chan, as much as I'd love to stay here and discuss this with you, I have to get going." He said as he shrugged on his jacket and skipped to the door. "Bye bye~!"

Shizuo fumed and resisted the urge to crush everything he could reach. He couldn't believe the flea was being so damn calm about this!

Maybe it was just a bunch of fantasies, a small voice in his mind whispered. Maybe he was just messing with you, like he always does.

That was a reasonable suggestion.

"Shut up," the blonde growled at it. He didn't have to reasonable if he fucking didn't want to!

His own phone buzzed, and he knew it would be Tom, telling him where they would meet up for today. He had to get going. Growling, he went to the fridge for a quick glass of milk to calm down.

There, he spied Izaya's jar of jelly. Without a second thought, Shizuo grabbed it, loosened the top, replaced it and left the apartment.

**The next drabble will be titled 'Old Fears' and is coming soon, my loves! Be patient with me!**


	6. Old Fears

**Old Fears**

**Long drabble is loooong. This picks right up where New Fears left off, kay? Good.  
**

**_Texts_  
**

**'Thoughts'**

Shizuo growled unintelligibly to himself as he made his way back to Ikebukuro. He knew the smart thing to do would have been to just take the train back like he had done so many times before, but he needed to clear his head. Something he would never be able to manage in a train car full of those humans Izaya was so freaking obsessed with.

That fucking flea, being so damn calm and composed when I'm so pissed! Why can't he just get unsettled and pissed like me for once? Why can't he get a _little _fucking defensive so I feel better about smashing his face in?

Shizuo paused in his ranting as he finally noticed he had been _running_ to Ikebukuro in his anger, and people had to practically dive out of his way. Good things no punks were around to go picking stupid fights, cuz he was _not _in the mood to hold back today. He slowed his pace to a brisk walk and sighed.

Why does he have to be so high and mighty and make me feel… like such an uncontrollable monster.

So lost in his furious and slightly depressing thoughts was the blonde, that for a while he was able to ignore the buzzing of his phone. But, like most things for him it quickly grew too annoying to tolerate. Snarling, he yanked his phone out and flipped it open. Whoever the hell was bothering him was in for a world of-!

Oh. His inbox was full and he had to make room for new messages. Huffing to himself, Shizuo began scrolling through recent texts.

There was a bunch of nonsense from Shinra about coming in for a checkup that he'd never responded to. He snorted as he deleted them. If nothing was broken and he wasn't bleeding enough to kill him, he wouldn't go to the doctor. He should've figured that out by now. It wasn't like he didn't like Shinra, but the constant nagging about blood samples was annoying and made him feel like Shinra was friends with him mostly to study him. Not a very cheerful thought but probably not untrue.

After getting rid of those he moved on to older texts. There was random spam that never failed to piss him off which he deleted quickly without looking at. He was already angry enough without that shit.

There were a few spread out texts from his brother asking how he was. He deleted them nonchalantly. Things as simple as text messages weren't enough to make him sentimental or anything, so why bother saving them when they would just be taking up memory?

Surprisingly there were several rather panicked texts from Kadota a few weeks old, saying that he was a great secret keeper or something. Whatever. He deleted those without bothering to respond.

He found some of his old conversations with Celty from back when they had first become friends. He had thought about deleting them in the past, but even over text Celty just had this calming aura around her, and he often caught himself rereading her messages to cool off from a fight. There were very few things in this world that could calm Shizuo Hewaijima, and he didn't take them lightly. He scrolled some more, getting into texts from _long _ago, back from his school days when he had first gotten his phone. It was nothing short of a miracle that it had survived being owned by the blonde all these years…

He scrolled farther and farther into his past and then arrived at-

_Heeeeello~ Shizu-chan~! Having a good weekend?_

Ugh. And his texts had actually started distracting him from-

_hey flea_

_Shizu-chan! That's no way to address your new boy~friend~!_

_shut up. we went on one date & exchanged #'s were not dating_

_But Shizu-chan! I know you better than anyone! Sure that means something~ to you?_

_no. just means ur a creepy stalker_

Shizuo smirked to himself.

_Shizuoooooooooooooooooo! That's not nice at all! T-T_

_what its true. And its not like I know anything about u_

…_Challenge Accepted._

_huh?_

_Ask me ANYTHING you want to know, and I'll tell you~_

_pfft yeah right. I may not know much but I do know ur a psycho and a liar_

_That's up for debate. Now go ahead, ask to your heart's content~!_

…_.u REALLY wont lie?_

_I swear on my life I will answer any question honestly and fully._

…_.y did u cut me back when we first met?_

_Well you DID try to punch my lights out first. But honestly I just felt like it! Whoo! The adrenaline was just delicious~!_

_um ew stop that_

_Stop what~?_

_acting like a freak._

_Right, because being a freak is your job, sorry~!_

_dick. _

_:D You love me~_

_like hell_

_Shizu-chan loves me with a fiery, eternal passion that reminds him of the heat of hell? KYAAA~!_

_another question._

_Yes, my love~?_

_why do you act like such a girl over text?_

_Well you see Shizu-chan(this may take a while to explain in a way your protozoan brain will understand so give me a minute)_

_if it's a long ass answer then never mind. and shut up_

_Fine. But if I shut up I won't be able to answer any more questions~_

_then just talk and TRY not to be an asshole_

_*sigh* I'll TRY…_

_oh I have a good 1_

_Shoot!_

_whats ur worst fear?_

_Oh ho~ could Shizu-chan be trying to get revenge by taking advantage of his boyfriend's deepest fears and secrets~? How cruel~!_

_r u gonna answer or not_

_*sigh* Well I did swear so I suppose I must put my life into your hands(be gentle with me!)_

_stop stalling_

_You see, Shizu-chan, what I fear most is Jelly. _

_...ur shitting me._

_I'm afraid not, my dear Shizu-chan._

_how the fuck r u scared of jelly_

_Terrified, really. It's an old nightmare of mine... *shudder*_

_seriously._

_Yes... You see, in my dream, I was in my home, all alone..._

_and jelly jumped outta nowhere and raped ur crazy ass?_

_Haha, Shizu-chan. I'm being 100 percent serious here and all you do is scorn me. *sniff*_

_fine fine ur scared of jelly. go on._

_...I was home alone, and I was hungry, so I went into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich._

_pb and j?_

_Very astute Shizu-chan. Remind me to get you a cookie later. May I continue?_

_sure_

_So, I pulled out the necessaries, peanut butter, bread, and lastly... Grape jelly._

_sounds yummy oh i mean terrifying._

_Oh it was. It really was. So I swiped some peanut butter onto one slice of bread, and then grabbed the jelly._

_ok lemme imagine u doing this with creepy music in the background_

_You do that :p Anyway, so you know how you have to turn the jar upside down to get the jelly out?_

_duh its sticky_

_Yes! So very STICKY! *shudder*_

_uh oh i think i know where this is going_

_So then I turn the jar upside down, and gave it a good shake so it would come out easier when I took the lid off!_

_oh crap here it comes_

_And then the lid comes right off and all my jelly goes flying EVERYWHERE! _

_thats gotta be messy_

_YES! *sobs* It was HORRIBLE! It was all over the counter, my clothes, in my hair! It was even sticking my eyelashes together!_

_...there there?_

_*sigh* I suppose a protozoan couldn't appreciate the horrors..._

_and this REALLY scared u?_

_*nod* And now everytime I make PB and J... *shiver* I just... freak out._

_im sorry._

_Really?_

_yeah. from now on whenever u want pb and j ill make it for u. _

_*gasp* Really Shizu-chan? You would do that? For me~?_

_hell yeah bring it on_

_SHIZUO I LOVE YOU! _

_yeah im awesome _

Shizuo sighed as he reached the end of their weird little conversation. Shaking his head, he saved the messages and turned to walk back to Shinjuku.

XXX

Shizuo unlocked Izaya's apartment with his spare key and made a beeline for the fridge. There he grabbed the little jar of grape jelly and tightened the lid as much as possible. Then he carefully returned it to the exact spot he'd found it so Izaya would never know.

Just as he closed the fridge and turned to leave, he heard the front door opening and froze.

"Crap!" he hissed to himself, though he had no reason to feel guilty anymore.

"Ah, Shizu-chan," Izaya said as he stepped into the kitchen and took off his jacket. "I'm surprised you're still here," he threw his jacket onto the counter and headed for the pantry. He didn't _seem _very surprised.

"I'm surprised you're back so soon," Shizuo replied meekly.

The raven shrugged nonchalantly. "Meeting ended early, and then I got hungry."

Shizuo flinched. "H-hungry? It's a little early for lunch..."

Izaya grinned as he pulled bread and peanut butter from the pantry. "Yeah, I kinda got a hankering for a sandwich~" he said, lightly elbowing Shizuo out of the way so he could open the fridge and grab his jelly.

'Gotta get out of here!' Shizuo thought frantically as he hurried for the door. "Well I better get going, I'm gonna be late-"

"Shizu-chan."

Cringing, Shizuo begrudgingly turned back to the raven. He blanched when he saw his hand wrapped around the lid of the jelly. 'How did he know?'

Izaya's face was completely blank as he stared Shizuo down. Abruptly, he smiled and held out the jar. "Shizu-chan, could you open this for me? It's too tightly screwed for me to open."

Secretly heaving a sigh of relief, Shizuo took the jar and deftly undid the top. He paused before handing back the jelly though. "Hey, let me make you a sandwich, okay?"

The informant blinked in surprise before nodding and going to sit on the other side of the kitchen counter, watching the blonde as he worked. "Not too much jelly Shizu-chan. You know how I hate messes~"

"_Believe_ _me_, I know."

Izaya chuckled and they fell in a brief, comfortable silence.

As the blonde placed the sandwich on a plate, handed it to Izaya and was about to leave, Izaya spoke.

"I know what you did." And then watched in amusement as Shizuo's mouth fell open and he started sputtering. Grinning widely, he took a bite of his sandwich.

Finally Shizuo found his words again. "HOW?"

Izaya set down his sandwich and opened his leather journal, which Shizuo had completely forgotten about at that point. "You didn't read much of this, did you? One of my fantasies is to have sex in _every_ part of my home, and record all of it for future pleasures~" Izaya paused to look up and smile at Shizuo again. "And you can't really record smut without cameras~" Then he sobered. "Shizuo, I'm disappointed."

Shizuo immediately got defensive. He couldn't help it, not after hearing his full name spoken in that betrayed voice. "Well _I _was disappointed in _you_ when I saw that journal! Don't you think that cheating on your lover is a bit more important than making a mess in your fucking kitchen?"

Izaya sighed. "So you still don't understand how much I hate messes..."

Shizuo growled. "You don't understand-"

"Shh, Shizu-chan, shhh."

Despite everything Shizuo had every said about Izaya, he had actually grown to find some of the raven's mannerisms rather... soothing. The soft laughter that filled the air whenever Shizuo did something stupid, the steady tap of keys as he worked, his teasing russet eyes... And at times like this, when his voice became so soft-spoken, he couldn't help but feel calmer.

He sighed, "What?"

Izaya stood, abandoning his sandwich to stand beside Shizuo, resting a hand against arm. "Shizuo, if you're not comfortable with it, then I won't do it, okay?"

Shizuo stared hard into russet eyes that returned his gaxe steadliy. "Really?"

A sly grin tugged at the informant's lip. "Would I lie~?"

Shizuo huffed a sullen "_Yes_," and swatted away Izaya's hand. Inwardly though, he felt relief. That was, until he was walking through the door and that devious little raven called after him:

"But if you _are _okay with it, I'll let you in on the fun too~!"

"IZAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

XXX

Izaya peered about his apartment in a thoughtful manner, nibbling at his sandwich.

"Maybe I _should _get cameras..."

**Izaya: :D Now that was fun! And why the hell am I scared of jelly? **

**Me: Ehhh, I just wanted to do something quirky. Hope everyone liked it~**

**Shizuo: I didn't.**

**Me: Wasn't talking to you~ Now everyone, if you want me to update quickly, then REVIEW~! Reviews are my insiration and happiness. You don't want to leave me without that, do you? Last chapter I forgot to ask for them and I didn't get very many. That made this writer very sad indeed. **

**Shizuo: Please, leave her unhappy, she doesn't deserve reviews.**

**Me: Hmph. Rude. But anyway... *lifts up a bucket of black paint* *starts painting story lightly***

**Shizuo: ...**

**Izaya: Da hell you doing woman?**

**Me: Shhh! I'm adding _shadows! __  
_**

**Izaya: That's not how foreshadowing works... *facepalm***

**Me: Oh...**


	7. Calm Before the Storm

**Calm Before the Storm**

**This is sooo random. I'm supposed to be doing Spanish homework. Meh. **

_**texts**_

'**Lyrics'**

A certain blonde was just minding his own business, doing some grocery shopping, when his phone started going off. At first he just ignored it, like he always did. But the ringtone was really annoying him... What was this girly ass song he was hearing?! He didn't remember putting any songs on his phone! And certainly not _this_song!

'And I was like baby, baby, baby, OH~!'

"What the hell!" Shizuo swore as he flipped open his phone, taking a moment to glare heatedly at anyone who dared stare at him for having little girl song announcing his texts.

_Shizu-chan..._

what do you want, flea?! and why the hell would you put that song on my phone!

There was a pause, and Shizuo tried to calm down and keep shopping. He nearly succeeded until his phone went off with that song _again._

"GODDAMN IT!"

"H-heiwajima-san!"

"WHAT?!"

"U-um! Excuse me! B-but, you really need to put that down..."

"...Damn it!" With a growl, Shizuo carefully replaced the large object he had blindly grabbed in his rage, which just so happened to be a vending machine. He suppressed a cringe as he realized he had probably-no, definitely- terrified all the other shoppers. Too ashamed to see their petrified faces, he turned to the high schooler who had been levelheaded enough to pull him back to his senses.

The small back haired boy seemed relieved, if not surprised, that the infuriated bodyguard had actually listened to him.

"Um! A-are you okay, Heiwajima-san?"

Shizuo merely grunted in reply.

"Is e-everything, um, alright?"

Shizuo's glare hardened. Couldn't this kid take a hint and leave him alone already? "Just pissed at that fucking flea, is all."

"Oh... what did Orihara-san do?"

The blonde tsked and waved his phone around agitatedly. "Damn louse put a stupid song on my phone, and it goes off whenever he texts me!"

The dark haired student blinked, looking confused. "Then why didn't you just put your phone on vibrate?"

...

"..."

"..."

"Shit. I'm really not as stupid as I make myself out to be..." Shizuo muttered as he flipped his phone open and set it to vibrate.

"Here, let me see your phone."

Shizuo blinked slowly. Not only was this random kid talking to him and _not_shitting his pants and running away, he actually had the guts to make demands of him? "Uh, sure, why not..."

The kid took his phone for a minute and did, well, something. Shizuo didn't know. Technology was Izaya's thing, not his.

"There, the song's gone."

Shizuo blinked again as he took back his phone. "Really?"

"Really."

"Huh," he huffed, putting his phone away. "Thanks, I guess. Don't know why he put that on there in the first place."

"Justin Bieber," the boy replied matter-of-factly. "Every troll's favorite artist."

"...Troll?"

"Ah, it's an internet meme."

"...Meme?"

"...Nevermind. He wanted to annoy you, is what I'm trying to say."

"Well he succeeded," Shizuo grumbled, turning to leave the store and confront that damn flea.

"You know," the boy called after him, "Most people think your some senseless brute-"

Shizuo spun around, ready to show this damn nosy brat what a brute he was-

"But obviously that can't be true."

Shizuo froze.

"Y-you think so...?"

"Well, you're thinking logically now, right? Even though you were pissed?"

"Uh, yeah..."

The strange boy smiled before checking the time on his own phone. "I better get going, Heiwajima-san."

"Hey! What was your name again?"

The boy's bright blue eyes glimmered as he smiled. "Ryugamine. Mikado Ryugamine."

"Ryugamine... have we met before?"

Mikado opened his mouth, then closed it. "No, Heiwajima-san."

"Huh. You're a pretty weird kid, Ryugamine. I'll try to remember you."

Mikado, who had long since calmed from the near incident Shizuo had caused, flushed unexpectedly. "T-thank you?"

"Yeah." With that, the blonde turned away and headed for Shinjuku. What a weird kid... Still, it was kinda... nice talking to someone who wasn't scared shitless by him. The list of people that he could honestly say didn't fear him was pretty short. If only there were more people who could keep a level head like Mikado, he probably would throw a lot less tantrums. What the hell was screaming and running going to do for his temper? Just fucking talk to me and every once in a while I'll calm down... Okay, maybe that wasn't the best arrangement, but how the hell was he going to work on his fucking temper when he was dating with a fucking Orihara?!

Speak of the devil, he thought bitterly as his phone buzzed. Sighing, his mind still stuck on that oddly calm kid, he read his newest messages.

And even though he had promised to remember him, all thoughts of Ryugamine Mikado flew from his mind as he ran to Shinjuku.

_Shizuo help me!_

_Shizuo..._

_Shizuo, I'm dying!_

**Izaya: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I'M _DYING_?! I'M YOUR FAVORITE!**

**Me: This was supposed to be about Shizuo buying soup and getting Bieber-trolled by Izaya...**

**Mikado: Got a bit off track, Author-san?**

**Me: ...Oh well. An update is an update.**

**Izaya: HELLO, YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER,_ DYING_ OVER HERE!**

**Me: I like Mikado. I think Izaya likes Mikado. I feel like Shizuo should like Mikado too. And I love how he can go from being all epic to tsundere in seconds flat~**

**Mikado: H-hey! I'm not Tsundere! *blush*  
**

**Me: I rest my case.**

**Oh, IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS EVERYONE! I'm back in school, meaning updates will be WAY less frequent…. Sorry! But who knows! Maybe school will…. Inspire me? And I'm changing the title. By the time I upload the next chapter, I'll change the title to 'This Is Our Life'. Lame title? Eh, I'm no good at titles. AND MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK! I'M GONNA BE SIXTEEN! *bounces up and down***

**Izaya: WHY AM I DYING!?**

**Me: WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DOWNER WHEN IT'S NEARLY MY BIRTHDAY!? REVIEW EVERYONE~!**

**Wow, long description is long... Anyway, I'll try to update soon!**


	8. The First Drop

"Izaya!" Shizuo screamed, the name that was so familiar on his lips burning his insides. "_Izaya!_" He called again, finally reaching the informants apartment. Without another thought, Shizuo kicked the door off its hinges.

"Where are you Izaya?!"

No answer.

"IZAYA!"

"Shi-shizu…."

Whirling towards the faint voice, Shizuo raced for his lover's living room/office. "Izaya? Where are you…?"

"Shi…"

His voice… It came from…. Below?

Dropping to the floor, Shizuo spotted his lover lying face down under the couch. "Izaya!" Shizuo yelled in a whisper, seeing proud, arrogant Izaya curled into a ball under his couch quieting him. "What are you doing down here!"

Izaya lifted his head, which had been hidden under his arms and Shizuo gasped. "Izaya…."

By this point, Shizuo would have expected some jab along the lines of "Yes, Izaya Orihara, don't wear it out~" but Izaya just groaned. "Shizu…."

Shizuo slowly reached out and pulled the fragile looking raven into his arms carefully, as if not to startle him away. Still moving slowly, Shizuo struggled to his feet, trying not to jostle the obviously very sick informant in his arms.

"It's okay, baby, I'm calling Shinra, we're going over there right now…."

**Wow this is really short… DON'T KILL ME! **Sokilee **asked me update on my birthday, so I did… and this was all I could finish! FORGIVE MY LAZINESS! *bows repeatedly***

**Also… I send out responses to every review I get over PM, but hardly anyone ever responds…. So I'd just like to thank **Marshmallows Rule The World, YaoiIsMyDrug.23, Deep or Shallow, Guest, Mad Hatter Usagi, anon, Maru de Kusanagi, lyngan, Anon, Sokilee, CarlyKitty, RequiemForTheWolves, **and OF COURSE,** icywarm **for all your reviews and support! And everyone who faved, followed, and just quietly read, thank you! **

**And don't forget, from now on the title will be 'This is Our Life'. Yeah, I know, I suck at creativity. If anyone thinks of a better name, please tell me! Til next chapter! **

–**Cael Luciano**

**PS. icywarm said this chappy would be good before she even read it. Soooo~ if it isn't, feel free to blame her! **


	9. Healing promises

**Ah. An Izaya chapter. **

**This chappy took a really long time, as I was struggling a bit with it. Then it hit me. There hasn't been an Izaya based chapter since chapter three! Time to fix that!**

Izaya took much pride in his orderly, controlled life. He slept as long as he liked, did his work on his own time, and got to play with his humans whenever he wished.

Shizuo had added a bit of chaos into the mix, but Izaya had been dealing with it since high school anyway. What's wrong with a bit of extra entertainment~? Nothing's worse than a boring life, right~?

So when he woke in an unfamiliar bed, he didn't think about what had happened or where he was. The first words he forced past his clogged throat were a hoarse "What time is it…?"

Maybe it was time to readjust Izaya's view on life.

"You're awake," a soft murmur answered.

Izaya paused, trying to place a face to match the relieved voice. "Shizu…?"

A hacking cough interrupted him, making him aware of the tight, scratchy feeling in his chest. "Ugh….."

His sleep blurred eyes cleared in time for Izaya to see Shizuo wince, and reach for something.

"Here," the blonde said, pressing a tall glass of water into informant's hand. The brunette sniffed, rested the glass against his face, the cool surface feeling amazing on his overheated skin. He spilled half of the water into his hair as he moved, and sighed, the chilled liquid increasing his brief sensation of relief.

"Flea, you're getting Shinra's sheets wet," Shizuo reprimanded, though there was no scolding in his soft voice. "C'mon, that's for drinking. You have to keep hydrated; doctor's orders."

Izaya groaned, feeling his head start to throb painfully. "Don' wanna…."

Shizuo sighed, taking the glass in one hand and the informant's head in the other. Carefully propping him up, Shizuo attempted to make him drink, but Izaya merely pressed his lips together and shook his head weakly.

"Izaya…"

After a moment the blonde sighed, pulling away with a defeated face.

"Hah," Izaya muttered, sniffing loudly. "I win again-Ah!"

As soon as Izaya had opened his mouth to gloat, Shizuo had started pouring the water down his throat. The brunette struggled pointlessly for a moment before realizing how thirsty he was. He even whined as the blonde pulled the empty glass away. Shizuo rolled his eyes at his lover's antics and asked if he wanted more water.

Izaya sniffed and coughed as he tried to catch his breath to speak. "Y-yeah…"

But as he stood to go to the kitchen, Izaya protested, clutching his arm. "No, don't go!"

In his feverish state Izaya missed the flush of color in the other's cheeks. "Make up your mind!"

"Stay…. B-but bring me water."

"I can't do both."

"You're just not trying hard enough."

"…what?"

"Y-you just don't love me anymore!" Izaya cried, covering his face with his hands and sobbing into them. He had to stop as he gagged on his own snot. Ew.

Shizuo tried not to grimace as he grabbed some tissues and started wiping at the various liquids leaking from his boyfriend's face. "Izaya, you're disgusting."

"You always say that…."

"More so than usual."

"Shizu-chan doesn't love meeeeee…."

Once, Izaya's face was more or less clean, Shizuo asked if he wanted him to get Shinra to see to him.

"No… I have something I need to ask you, S-shizu-chan…"

Shizuo leaned in close to hear. So much for his 'disgust'.

"What is it?"

"Come closer…"

"I really don't want to be the one sick in bed next week…"

"Monsters don't get sick…"

"Well I don't want to test it-"

"Closer!"

"Alright!" Shizuo relented, leaning in kiss close. "What is it?!"

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya whispered, reaching a shaky hand up to caress the blonde's face. There were dark circles beneath those mocha eyes. He probably hadn't slept since he learned of his lover's illness. How sweet.

"Yes, I'm here."

"There's something I need to ask of you…"

"If you want me to be in two places at once again, the answer's still no."

"No, not that…."

There was a pause where the two merely stared at each other before Shizuo realized the other was waiting for a response. "Uh, okay."

"You know how I feel about death…"

"…huh?"

"That (sniff) there's nothing really there for us (cough) after we leave this world…."

"Um, yeah, that sounds familiar…"

"But a sickness like this…. Really puts things in perspective for me…"

"Good…?"

"I just… have a small request of you, Shizu-chan…"

"Yeah, I got that. You said it a minute ago. My memory's not that bad."

"…I want you to do it, Shizu-chan."

"Be a little more specific."

"Damn it Shizuo!" Izaya cried, trying and failing to shove the other's face away. "We're talking about my life here! Can't you be a _little _sensitive?!"

"Sorry! I really have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Fine." Izaya relented, going limp but leaving his hand pressed awkwardly against the blonde's face. "Then I spell it out for you."

"I would appreciate that," Shizuo said, his words muffled by the other's palm against his mouth, peeking through the pale fingers to see Izaya.

With a long, dramatic sigh, (that ended in a cough as the brunette choked on air) he explained. "I want you to kill me, Shizuo."

"…You lost me again."

"I refuse to be Izaya Orihara, the amazing, prodigy informant who died at the tragic age of twenty one-"

"You're twenty three."

"At the hands of a simple illness. I _refuse._" He reiterated, moving his hand away only to poke a slender index fingers between Shizuo's eyes. "That's where you come in."

"Izaya, you don't understand-"

"No, _you _don't understand!" Izaya shrieked. "I'm just, I'm too proud for that, okay? I can't accept that!"

"Izaya-"

"I can barely believe I have to die in the first place-"

"IZAYA!"

"Whaaaat?" Izaya whined, glaring at Shizuo as his loud voice worsened his headache.

"You're not dying."

"… You're shitting me."

"No."

"Then why do I feel like crap?"

"It's the flu, Izaya. That's how you're supposed to feel."

"But my head feels like it's being crushed…"

"It's a migraine. You've been asleep for over a day and your blood sugar is low. You'll get over it after you eat something."

"I feel so hot…"

"Fever is a symptom too Izaya," Shizuo informed him, sighing.

"I can barely breathe…"

"Your sinuses are clogged! Haven't you ever been sick before?!"

"No."

"…seriously?"

"Well have you?"

"No, but I'm different."

"You're a monster."

"Izaya-"

"A monster who yells at sick people!"

"I'm yelling because you're being an immature idiot!"

"You're hurting my head, protozoan!"

"Wow. If you can argue like that, I'd say you're healthy enough to go home already," Shinra said, smiling cautiously as he walked in on the lovers spat.

"Shinra, good, you're here. Get this Neanderthal away from me!"

Shinra chuckled. "Well maybe I could send you home Izaya, if you have enough energy to yell like that."

Shizuo snorted. "As if. The flea thought he was _dying._"

Shinra just laughed some more. "Come on, you know how dramatic he can be. I'm sure he was joking."

"Grrrrr…."

XXX

Some antibiotics, a taxi ride home, and a warm bath later, the two cuddled up on Izaya's couch, argument long forgotten.

"Hey Izaya…?"

"Yeah Shizu-chan?"

He hesitated before asking, "Do you feel better now?"

Izaya sniffled and nodded. "A little."

"…Good."

A few moments of comfortable silence later Izaya spoke again. "So what did you _really_ want to ask me?"

"I'm that obvious, huh?"

"Yep."

Shizuo sighed, running a hand through his mussed hair. "…I'll do it."

"Hmmm?"

"If you ever are actually dying from some disease or something… I'll kill you."

The brunette stiffened in surprise. "…"

A tense moment later, Izaya cuddled into the blonde's side further. "I'll kill you too."

"…Thanks."

"No problem~"

…**Weird ending is weird. **

**Izaya and Shizuo: *cuddles in the corner***

**Me: … Oh well. I liked it. Well, I don't like having the flu, that sucks, but uh… nevermind. **

**Edit: Um... I'm a little confused... I wrote barely over three hundred words last chapter and got nine reviews. . Nine. Then I spend time that I SHOULD have been hanging with my friends working on this chapter and I get ONE review? And from someone who I had told that I was posting it... Maybe you guys just don't want me to continue writing these. And I won't if I think no one is reading. So. Yeah. If you're still there, reading this, TELL ME. I spend time and brain power on these stories, ya know. **


	10. Many Apologies

**Izaya:** Hello there~, my lovely humans~!

**Shizuo:** Shut up. I'm in charge here.

**Izaya:** Oh ho~? And who may I ask placed a protozoan in a seat of power and diplomacy over myself~?

**Shizuo:** I did, just now.

**Izaya:** And who is to say I agree to this?

**Shizuo:** Didn't I tell you to shut up? The leader is trying to talk here.

**Izaya:** Hmm, this'll be interesting~! Go on~

**Shizuo:** Tch. So. I'm sure you all were expecting some stupid drabble about me and that flea doing lovey dovey shit together.

**Izaya:** *chuckle*

**Shizuo:** Well you're gonna be disappointed, cuz none of that's happening here.

**Izaya:** I'm sure_ you're_ disappointed, Shizu-chan~~

**Shizuo:** We're just here to tell you that you probably won't be getting any of that romantic bull, or at least, not from here.

**Izaya:** Author-san isn't feeling very well lately~

**Shizuo:** So. Yeah. That's all I have to say on the matter. *stomps off for a cigarette*

**Izaya:** Since that monster is out of the way, I'll be happy to inform all you humans about what's been happening lately! I'll even do it for free, because I love you so much! Isn't that kind of me~?

**Mikado:** But Izaya-san, aren't you doing this because Author-san made you-

**Izaya:** Silly Ryugamine-kun, no one can make me do anything! Everything I do is for the sole purpose of keeping myself amused~

**Mikado:** ...Right. After you say that, I get the feeling you won't take this job very seriously, Izaya-san.

**Izaya:** Well if you think you can do better, be my guest~

**Mikado**: Um, alright. So, recently, things haven't been going very well for Author-san.

**Izaya:** Hehe~

**Mikado:** She's... well, she's been fairly overwhelmed by life lately.

**Izaya:** That's because she's weak~ If she were more like me, she would realize all the true joys of life and humanity!

**Mikado:** Are you quite finished?

**Izaya:** ...

**Mikado:** ...?

**Izaya:** ...

**Mikado:** *swallows nervously*

**Izaya:** ...Yes ;D

**Mikado:** Thank you :l

**Izaya:** You're very welcome~~~

**Mikado:** ANYWAY! Author-san has had a lot of troubles lately. She went through a really awkward break up, but that was really only the start of her troubles.

**Kida:** Yeah. Soon after that, someone she was pretty close to got arrested.

**Mikado:** ...! When did you get here?!

**Kida:** I have my ways~!

**Mikado:** ...Yeah. Back to the original subject then.

**Kida:** His arrest was especially hard on her because of WHY he was arrested.

**Izaya:** Turns out he had been molesting a girl around her age~ (16)

**Mikado:** She was completely shocked by this, of course.

**Kida:** He was one of the sweetest, goofiest guys she knew, and he had these jokes that were so damn corny, only he thought they were funny.

**Mikado:** *eyes Kida* I wonder why that sounds familiar?

**Kida:** I have no idea, since my jokes are awesome!

**Mikado:** I never said anything about your jokes.

**Kida:** Moving right along!

**Mikado:** Fine. This person was one of the only adults she really trusted, and he had a daughter of his own, so Author-san was so confused when all this came to light. She was hurting, and didn't understand at all. Her Youth Leader tried to talk to her about it, but she was crying so hard she couldn't speak. She was handed the number of a therapist specializing in troubled teenagers, but couldn't bring herself to call.

**Kida:** Just as she began recovering from that blow... she did something kind of dumb.

**Mikado:** This one little thing turned into a lie, which led to another lie, which led to another lie... But suddenly the truth came out.

**Kida:** And her two best friends were ripped apart, from each other and from her.

**Mikado:** She missed them both, but since they were fighting and she had caused it, she felt like it was wrong of her to take sides in the conflict. But she didn't just want to lose them forever either, and felt like if she made up with one of them, she'd be choosing one friend over the other. She was so confused that for a while she couldn't bear to face either of them.

**Kida:** She became depressed without them, and started doing more stupid things. She dyed her hair despite her mom telling her she wasn't allowed to, and started skipping a bunch of her classes.

**Mikado:** When she went to class she would always end up thinking about her friends and couldn't concentrate on the work, and thought, what is the point of going?

**Kida:** But one day she decided to talk to one of her best friends. Her friend was almost as confused as she was, and was more upset at her third friend than anything else. She had blamed the third friend for the lying, and accepted AS back readily. (This friend from this point on shall be referred to as 'Close Friend')

**Mikado:** AS was too frightened and ashamed to admit she'd had a part in the lying, so she said nothing. Her fear had come true, she was picking one friend over the other.

**Kida:** After a while, the third friend started approaching her, smiling and joking just like she always did. But AS remembered how hurt their Close Friend was, and turned away coldly from her third friend. She resented her for being unaffected while they were both so broken up over everything that was happening.

**Mikado:** Her third friend kept trying, and everytime AS would walk away without a word, she wanted to cry. She wanted to cry and she scream at her friend for letting all of this happen.

**Kida:** But on the inside, AS knew she caused this, so it was right that she suffer, right?

**Mikado:** Finally AS went to her Close Friend and begged her to consider forgiving their third friend. She told her how this wasn't just affecting one of them, how AS was being hurt by her Close Friend's indifference too.

**Kida:** Her Close Friend sighed and lamented over her own feelings, and AS began to resent her too.

**Mikado:** So AS did what she did best. Went home and spent hours on the internet doing nothing.

**Kida:** Sadly, the internet was just about the only thing that didn't depress her anymore. So she kept skipping classes and avoiding her happy third friend, or flat out ignoring her.

**Mikado:** As to be expected, AS's grades were slipping. A lot. But in her depression she couldn't bring herself to care. Her mom hasn't found out yet, but when she does, there will be hell to pay. And her internet privileges will be revoked, just as they have been in the past.

**Kida:** Remember how the internet was the only thing keeping her happy? Yeah.

**Mikado:** She decided to go to her older brother for advice, because he is very, very smart.

**Kida:** Once he knew everything, there was a long pause, and then he told her the best option in her situation was...

**Izaya:** To kill herself~ Not bad advice if you ask me!

**Kida:** *growl* NO ONE ASKED YOU.

**Mikado:** She was so out of her usual cheerful state, for a while she considered his advice. In the end, she decided she would wait everything out and see how bad things were going to get before she did anything that drastic.

**Izaya:** *shrug* I can wait.

**Kida:** You-!

**Mikado:** Then one day when she had stayed after school, she was alone with her third friend. And she couldn't find her phone.

**Kida:** *huff* She panicked because she had no way to get home, and her dad was expecting her to call. She was terrified of what her parents would do if they knew she lost her phone.

**Izaya:** She started bawling like a baby~

**Kida:** CAN YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!

**Mikado:** Her third friend held her close and promised everything would be okay, and got together a group of people to search the school for her phone.

**Kida:** Eventually the group dwindled as people had to go home, and the phone was still missing when it was just AS and her third friend left. Soon her distressed mumbling about her phone turned to crying about how much she had missed her friend.

**Mikado:** To her shock, her friend started crying too. For a long time they stood and cried and hugged and talked about how horrible their lives apart were. It turns out that her friend's happiness was just a mask. She was wrecked up about what happened too.

**Kida:** Her third friend, who has earned the title of Awesome Friend, resolved to talk to her Close Friend and apologize. AS was very happy, even though her phone was still missing.

**Mikado:** Her Awesome Friend drove her home, and they next day they both spoke to their Close Friend.

**Izaya:** But it turns out her Awesome Friend was just as scared as she was~

**Mikado:** Her Awesome Friend couldn't think of the words to say, and was afraid to screw everything up even more. So she just said 'I'm sorry,' and ran off in fear.

**Kida:** AS was satisfied with that, but her Close Friend huffed and grumbled about needing a better apology.

**Mikado:** AS pleaded with the both of them, telling her Awesome Friend what she needed to say, telling her Close Friend she needed to be more understanding, but they refused to say another word to each other.

**Kida:** AS has since then found her phone. She is happier than she was but now more scared than ever of her grades. Awesome Friend and Close Friend still refuse to speak to each other.

**Mikado:** AS's year is not starting as she thought it would. But she is hopeful that she will survive this. She is putting the thought of suicide behind her, because she knows now that she has friends who will be very upset if that happens.

**Kida:** AS is trying hard to turn her life around. She wants to be on better terms with her family. She wants to not have to be afraid of her mother. She wants to be happy.

**Izaya:** But right now, she really isn't.

**Mikado:** She finds it hard to become excited about anything.

**Kida:** She is no longer confident in anything she does.

**Izaya:** She can't trust the people around her not to hurt her anymore.

**Shizuo:** She HATES feeling like this.

**Izaya:** But it's the truth.

**Mikado:** She doesn't even really enjoy Durarara anymore...

**Kida:** Let alone writing about it.

**Izaya:** But don't worry! She's still totally obsessed with yours truly, no matter what happens!

**Shizuo:** Tch.

**Izaya:** She'll definitely keep writing about me~~~!

**Mikado:** But that probably won't happen in the near future.

**Izaya:** Awww ;(

**So thank you for reading, and please, don't hate me too much! I know this is probably disappointing to everyone, but it's just the truth. I'm sorry.**

**And I'm really sorry to Icywarm especially D: It's been fun, but, I think I'm going to put Durarara behind me now. I'll try to finish up the stories I have going on right now, but... that'll be it, I guess!**

**So, thank you to all my readers. You guys have odd taste, since you like me, but you're all awesome anyway.**

**Also, (and I know I'm rambling A LOT but please bear with me) I'd like to say something about that break up I mentioned.**

**Well, two things really.**

**1. I was dating a girl. If you're gonna hate, hate. I really don't care at this point.**

**2.****_ I_**** broke up with****_ her_****. And I broke up with her because she wanted to do certain things that I was just ****_not_**** ready for. And when I tried to tell her no she tried to force me. Me being a lot smaller than her, I freaked out, and broke up with her.**

**But I was NOT overreacting. So I just want to say to everyone that, if you are in a relationship and someone is trying to make you do things you are not ready for, you either need to set that straight and****_ MAKE SURE_**** they understand that, or you need to end the relationship. Period. It is just not okay. I don't care if it's a girl pressuring a girl, a guy pressuring a guy, a girl pressuring a guy, or a guy pressuring a girl. It's not okay. On any level.**

**So there's my little PSA for the day. Be safe, and know you have a choice in this. (And please don't hate on my ex. She's not a bad person, she's just a lot more experienced and ready for that kind of thing, while I am not.)**

**(Oh. And don't hate on my bro either. He's always been like that. He just tries to work things out in ways that seem logical to him. I'm not angry at him, and we still talk. Thanks.)**

**Well, bye~!**


End file.
